I read this is the moan zone, so I'm gonna whine. Cause I wanna share my today's morning experience with the world and this seems like a place made fit for that.
So I had approx. two and half weeks of holidays during which I did almost nothing else but music, music and eating and sleeping and music.
This morning, I wake up and realize I have to go to work. At the instant of that thought my abdomen clenched, the shivers ran down my spine and I felt like the coldest winter nights and hottest summer days just went 365 times all over me and I grew older by a year. In that one instant.
I was on the bring of fainting and the only thing keeping conscious was the constant flow of anxiety shaking every fiber of my being. It was the realization of the contrast between what I love to do and what the ef am I doing wasting my time with a job I dread. I was in shock and horror seeing so clearly how I'm wasting my life. It made me sick to my stomach. Of course I could have just lighten up a joint and be like everything's alright, but that would only postpone the agony.
It was officially my first existential panic attack. Had to visit the doctor and ask him to let me stay at home, cause they wouldn't let me take holidays at work at this time, where everyone's stressed about meeting quarterly goals under threats of being fired if they don't. God, I hate that corporate world...or modern age slavery should I say?
Phew, just wanted to get it out.
I'm gonna celebrate the existence with the weed, music and wine,
For till this day is the next week's Monday, life is fine.:lol:
So I had approx. two and half weeks of holidays during which I did almost nothing else but music, music and eating and sleeping and music.
This morning, I wake up and realize I have to go to work. At the instant of that thought my abdomen clenched, the shivers ran down my spine and I felt like the coldest winter nights and hottest summer days just went 365 times all over me and I grew older by a year. In that one instant.
I was on the bring of fainting and the only thing keeping conscious was the constant flow of anxiety shaking every fiber of my being. It was the realization of the contrast between what I love to do and what the ef am I doing wasting my time with a job I dread. I was in shock and horror seeing so clearly how I'm wasting my life. It made me sick to my stomach. Of course I could have just lighten up a joint and be like everything's alright, but that would only postpone the agony.
It was officially my first existential panic attack. Had to visit the doctor and ask him to let me stay at home, cause they wouldn't let me take holidays at work at this time, where everyone's stressed about meeting quarterly goals under threats of being fired if they don't. God, I hate that corporate world...or modern age slavery should I say?
Phew, just wanted to get it out.
I'm gonna celebrate the existence with the weed, music and wine,
For till this day is the next week's Monday, life is fine.:lol:
Panic, just panic!
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